Commercial dungeons are an endangered species in London right now. With fetish spaces like Murder Mile and The Hoist recently shutting up shop, it’s increasingly difficult to find stylish, suitable spaces for indulging your kinks. However, hope is not lost for those of us with more niche tastes. As someone who spends rather a lot of time in high class hotel rooms, I’ve developed a keen eye for multipurpose spaces that can be utilised for smut. If you’re interested in the kind of play which exceeds the limits of a double bed, then these specific London hotel rooms may be the answer:

Loft Terrace Rooms at The Curtain: This newly-opened hotel in the East End is one for exhibitionists. There’s a rooftop pool (a rarity in London) next to an open air restaurant, meaning there’s plenty of opportunities for turning the heads of diners as you slink past their table in just your swimwear.  Even better, the Terrace Rooms come with large outdoor balconies attached, complete with daybeds and overlooked by the City’s many expansive office towers. Perfect for those who like to put on a show for silent suits watching from behind glass. 

Deluxe Suite at the Rosewood: The Rosewood is one of my favourite hotels in the Capital – sophisticated, beautiful and with a heritage feel that’s not stuffy or dull. It’s also the home of some of the finest wet rooms and bathrooms around, replete with large walk in showers and adjacent marble tubs that can easily accommodate three (reader, I’m dedicated to field research). I wholeheartedly recommend these bathrooms for wet and messy (WAM) play, watersports/golden showers or even just staging your own personal wet t-shirt competition.

Junior Loft Suites at Covent Garden Hotel: Two words that are music to the ears of rope fetishists: Ceiling beams. If you’re seeking fixed points for shibari or kinbaku, ask for this suite at the Covent Garden outpost of the Firmdale group. The rooms are spacious enough for all types of play, but it’s the heavy beams that offer the most exciting potential for bondage. With my health and safety hard hat on, I should remind you that suspension is serious stuff, and should only be done by experienced rope artists, but even if you’re not quite at that level, there’s still plenty of other delightful ways to make use of all that folksy-looking wood to tie and tease a person. All it requires is a little imagination.

Courtyard Rooms at 10 Manchester Square: Smoking fetishists have had a hard time of late, as there are increasingly few spots where you can smoke in private – and let’s be honest, vaping just doesn’t have the same erotic charge. If you’re looking for opportunities to smoke cigarettes or cigars in a more explicit context, 10 Manchester Square is the venue for you. Each room has a partially enclosed smoking terrace with outdoor furniture and heaters, meaning they’re ideal all year round. They’re not overlooked, offering you enough privacy to get up to no good in confidence. Plus there’s the public cigar bar downstairs if you’re interested in locking eyes with a stranger over Cubans.  

Wow Suite at W Hotel: The site of some of my all-time favourite orgies, this Suite was made for naked parties. Firstly it’s enormous, with a sofa on a rotating plinth. I’ve never actually established what functionality this would have outside of a debauched night of sexual hedonism, but I do know that I was once the main lot of an ‘auction’ scene here, with people bidding for sexual favours as I rotated in my lingerie. The bed sleeps about 4, and at least 8 people can comfortably fuck each other silly on it at any one time. To top it off, the entire bedroom is encased in mirrors – including the ceiling – for the best view in the house. Admittedly, it’s unapologetically gaudy and ostentatious, but then, some of the best things in life are.    

Suite at York and Albany: This room was a recent discovery of mine, and one of many devious possibilities. It’s in an entirely separate part of the building to the rest of this Regent’s Park hotel, meaning it’s well soundproofed and extremely private. An excellent location for noisier activities such as spanking and impact play, the suite also has its own entrance –  ideal for the late-night comings and goings of courtesans and playmates, as well as offering some fun roleplay options. Finally, as if it couldn’t get much better, the space has several ceiling beams as well, so a close runner-up to Covent Garden when it comes to bondage and rope options. In short, a kinkster’s paradise.

This is far from an exhaustive list, and I’m personally committed to expanding it one wild night at a time. If you have your own little havens of smut, do let me know via Twitter. And if you’re interested in testing the accuracy of my recommendations in person, do get in touch.

2023 — Louisa Knight