Perhaps I should blame it on the new promo, but increasingly I’ve found myself a little overwhelmed by enquiries from prospective lovers.  This is, of course, always a rather nice problem to have, but to be frank, it’s not the admin side of things that I enjoy the most about my job. For me, the pleasures of the flesh are far superior to the glow of a laptop screen, so for this reason I’ve decided to hire Alice, my new assistant. I spent some time recruiting, as it felt vitally important to find the right person for a role like this – someone experienced, trustworthy and highly skilled. I couldn’t be more delighted, as Alice is all of those things and also looks divine in a pencil skirt. For information, she’s going to be helping out with logistics, including first enquiries, scheduling, media requests, references and my travel booking. Details of a more personal (and where applicable, confidential) nature will continue to be handled by me, and I’ll still be speaking to new clients on the phone in advance of meeting. I appreciate that for many of my clients (and for myself), the opportunity to engage directly with one another is important, so rest assured that I’ll still be very much involved in pre-planning our date. But this way, my response time to you can be faster and there’s less possibility that emails will get lost in the digital ether. Plus I’ll get to spend more time in flagrante delicto, rather than in the inbox. Which can only be a good thing.

Alice and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Oh! And if you missed my announcement on twitter, I have a new mailing list for international suitors, so sign up and I can then let you know should I ever be in your fine city.

2023 — Louisa Knight